3, 2, 1... the countdown is on!

Hi all,
Today will be a quick post as I am hopped up on sleeping pills as I have not been sleeping for the past couple of days. I can't believe that Closing Ceremony takes place in 2 days!... and quite franky, I can't wait! I know that I have been positive thoughout this entire blog, and for the most part I have really enjoyed my time here and have met some very interesting and amazing people that I hope to keep in touch with for a long time. I even contemplated whether I should post this blog, but have decided that I need to.

Today has been an "odd day" for me. I know that some of you may be thinking that I mean it is because only odd numbered licence plates could drive today... (I can't say for sure if it was... took the subway everywhere today as it is free and I am trying to save everything I can for my trip).... It is an odd day, because, for no apparent reason to me, I am just done. Having a bad day and a little down. I have built a bridge and I may be officially "over beijing". Here is where the truth comes out.

I am really REALLY happy that I have had this amazing opportunity, but I am not going to lie, it has been a slog. The language barrier (for some reason my French is not helping me out as much as it does in Europe...hmmmmm), the countless hours, the sheer amount of commuting time involved has taken its toll - both physically (even though I am called fat regularly), and mentally... and we all know I was mental to begin with. I will really look back on my time here with fondness for sure, but I really didn't think it was going to be this much of an adjustment. I have found Beijing dualistic in nature - forward thinking, yet, in some ways, entrenched in the past - which both fuels and restrains its people. Gives them strength and pride, yet seems somewhat limiting. Infuses them with their identity - yet you can visibly see the manifestation of thier attempts to retain thier past, yet embrace thier future. The people are both warm and extremely welcoming, yet guarded and somehow leary and suspicious as well (probably for good reason too). Please understand that these are just observations - and probably more like delusional prattle from a sleep deprived Westerner who, by no means, has the knowledge, experience, or even right to make these claims. It has definitely been an eye-opening, educational, exciting, exhausting, confusing, confounding, hysterical, frenetic, humbling, at times hillarious, at times heart wrenching, frantic, slow, fast, serene, intense, humourous, empowering, joyful, depressing, invigorating, life changing, surprising and a once-in-a-life-time experience. I will reserve my final judgements until I have had time to step back and really sort through my emotions and thoughts... this is just the start of that process. I think I am just needed to start packing and compartmentalizing for easy access at a later date - I am speaking emotionally. Unless you have truly experienced working in an environment like this where you are forced to bond quickly and work with SOOOOO many different nationalities and personalities, I am not sure that my explanation will suffice - but it has surely helped me to get it out there.

I am sure I am just sleep deprived and missing summer time in the T-dot. I am also bummed that I will be missing the big family reunion in the booming metropolis of Rockwood, Ontario in early September... My Aunt Robyn and Uncle Nick from Texas are coming up for Labour Day weekend along with close family friends Jimmy, Gala and John. I would have loved to see them. And with my exposure to the Chinese way of life and families... my vocal cords were in fine shape to take on my family members at the dinner table! (I hope you guys understand my need to do what I am doing and take advantage... and how much I long to be there with you too - it is the dichotomy of China all over again). I also can't adequately describe how much I miss my nephew - even though I have only met him for one day, once in my life. It is amazing how you can love someone so instantaneously and so completely other than yourself.... He has truly been the most humbling and eye-opening experince to date in my life.

I am really excited to head out on my adventure though, and that is what is getting me through the next couple of days. I am looking forward to decompressing, having alone time and just meanering without a plan. Only when backpacking, have I learned the most about myself - my limitations and strengths - and trust me, it is easy to loose yourself here amist the cocophony of noise, excitement and sheer velocity of the Olympic games.

It has definitely been a rollercoaster.... and we are now preparing for our final descent; and like a rollercoaster, even though I laughed, sreamed and was even terrified a time or two during this ride, I will undoubtedly run back and queue up to get on and do it all over again. You always remember the good, exhilarating parts.

Yours,

Yue Han...