It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

The View From My Terrace

Well. It happened. My heart grew three sizes today. Grinch no more says I. I don’t know when it happened, or how it happened. It crept up on me and I didn’t even see it coming. I am so full of Christmas Cheer at the moment, that I could barf a big red and green holiday sweater.

As I look out my window from my third floor apartment, all is covered in a blanket of white. It’s a flippin’ Christmas Card out there. Usually I would curse and moan – mainly because I look ridiculous in a touque and don’t enjoy getting ridiculed in public – but today, I find myself giddy and smiling like Keith Richards in front of an unlocked medicine cabinet in a hospital ER. It’s beginning to look, and feel, a lot like Christmas. Even someone as sarcastic and flippant as me, can’t help but feel a little tingle in my heart (I blame the residual rum and eggnog coursing through my veins).

Perhaps it started as I basked in the euphoria that ensued following finishing my Christmas shopping in one night (or perhaps it was the excitement of the bloodlust and carnage I left in my wake that did it for me)? Or maybe old Father Christmas got his lard-laden paws on me as I was being pelted in the face with ice daggers, hurtling at me in 60KM an hour winds during our first snowstorm of the year yesterday? (In white out conditions that shit could creep up on a man)

My best guess, however, is that it happened because yesterday I was party to a Christmas Miracle. Yesterday was perfection. It started off like any other day (except that Mother Nature was PMSing big time and taking it out on us). 20cm of snow and 60km/hr winds would pummel our fair city throughout the day.

My commute was uneventful – no random groping, no drunken vigilantes, and everyone even decided to wear deodorant. When I got to work, the snow had already started and never let up. We got the call at precisely 11:10am: “Hello God, is that you? It’s us, the Toronto Office.” As it turned out, our head office in NY had shut down for the day due to the storm. We were told to monitor the storm and we would hear back at noon. We shut er’ down! Our office closed at noon yesterday. It was a Christmas Miracle!

I felt like a kid again! I had not had a “snow day” in about 17 years. It was like waking up and not having to go to school. Sheer joy. I wanted to run into the street and make a snow fort or pelt someone with snowballs…I went and drank instead.

I called my pseudo-girlfriend Jocelyn and we met up for a leisurely lunch. We shared soup, creamy pasta, wine, dessert – all while watching the snow fall outside – it was very “Lady and the Tramp” – well, more like “Lady and the Tramp Clog Their Arteries”. Bellies full, we then parted ways (but not before taking pics in the snow) and I finished up my errands, walking the city for three hours in the relentless storm. Even though my hair and face literally turned to ice (I looked like that Neanderthal guy they pulled out of the arctic – or more pointedly, a scrawny, geeky version of Brendan Frazier’s ‘Encino Man’), I loved every minute of it.  Yes, I have made an appointment with a psychiatrist.

Joce and I trying to keep our eyes open for the photo

King Street in the Storm

Upon returning home, I did what I do best. I napped. No alarms, no need to get up for any reason, it was heaven. Then my friend came over and we watched xmas movies, chatted and had dinner. Our dinner consisted of Bailey’s, rum and eggnog, wine, and my newest holiday invention – Kahlua, coffee and eggnog. Christmas Miracle number 2! Delicious; a must try. Once Erin left, (due to the 2 coffees I had), I couldn’t sleep.  I stayed up and wrapped a few presents while watching Frank Capra’s “It’s a Wonderful Life” getting drunk on rum and eggnog.

You see, for me, it isn’t Christmas until I watch Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas (cartoon of course!) and until I see a drunken and delirious George Bailey run through the streets of Bedford Falls slurring and screaming a-la Courtney Love: “Merry Christmas Bedford Falls! Merry Christmas Oak Tree! Merry Christmas Movie Theatre! Merry Christmas token minority!” I don’t care that it’s melodramatic. I don’t care that it is highly predictable. I don’t care that he has a kid named flippin’ Zou Zou (what the heck is up with that?). I say bring on the shmaltz. It gets me every time. 

We all have our holiday traditions that signify Christmas to us – this is mine. Perhaps I have such an affinity to The Grinch and It’s a Wonderful Life because every year I watched them with my mom, sister and brother and then my Step dad when he was crazy enough to join our clan and it brings all that back – or perhaps it is because the Grinch IS my brother – and drunken, yellin’ George Bailey prepares me for what is to come at Christmas dinner. Whatever it is, ‘tis the season. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

But all this shit best be gone come December 26. … I’m just sayin’.

But wait... you didn't even buy me dinner...

I have recently rejoined the work force after three blissful months of travelling, reconnecting with friends, and basically doing whatever the heck I felt like whenever the heck I felt like it... ahhh unemployment. Well, I suppose 'unemployment' is the wrong term as I technically had a job, it just didn't start for a while. So, for all of you TV people out there, I was on hiatus - and now back to our regularly scheduled program - namely, the 9 to 5.

I have to say, I am lucky and am enjoying my new job (the first three days at least). However, this morning, johnny d was smacked in the face (or the ass really) with reality. GOOD MORNING TORONTO! How could I forget the morning commute during rush hour on the TTC?! I guess jobs are like childbirth (or what my understanding of childbirth is anyway) - we always forget about the bad parts when it is time for the next one.

My new job dictates that I am in the office from 9 to 5 daily due to the various time zones we deal with - being a company with global offices. In all of my previous jobs, I was able to work 8-4 or 7:30 - 3:30. You may call me a glutton for punishment, or think that I have an affinity for the morning call of the rooster, but I have to say, my greatest impetus for choosing to go to work earlier was to avoid (at all costs) the mayhem of the morning commute at rush hour...

I fully expected my two months in Beijing to make the morning commute a breeze, even laughable. You see, whereas Toronto's mobile subterranean sardine cans pack in hundreds of riders each morning, those of Beijing attempt to squeeze Costco size portions into specialty-food-store-sized tins.... When you find yourself cross checking a 194 year old great-great-great-great-great-grandmother the size of smurfette out of your way to board a train because you realize that said ancient smurfette is, in fact, a lethal ninja master whose defensively raised elbows could leave a man sterile and you don't want to let train number five pass you by so you are not late for work, you will understand the sheer mayhem and volume that is the Beijing subway system. No matter the training I got in Beijing, nothing prepared me for what happened today.

Nobody expects to get groped at 8:23 in the morning (yes I was so confused, the only place I had to look was my watch). Sure, I have had a small little Guatemalan lady wrap her arms around me to stop herself as she dashed into a packed train on a certain day in February, only to look up at me and say "...ummmm... happy...Valentine's Day?" (her timing was so perfect that all I could do was respond "hey lady, everyone needs lovin' on Valentine's" - true story) And yes, of course I have had someone accidentally hold my hand thinking they were grabbing the pole beside me - but I have never been groped.....until today.

Today's train seemed to be extra packed. Perhaps i was just extra agitated because I had only had one cup of coffee so far at that point. Who knows? Anycrap, it was a tight squeeze. I was being polite and had taken off my backpack and put it between my legs and turned sideways facing the divider between the door and the adjacent seat to make as much room as possible. All was well. I am a very considerate commuter and things were humming along - or perhaps that was just me while listening to my iPod? We had passed a few stops and, as I heard the TTC chimes, I remember thinking to myself that the TTC's subliminal message must be working. (A little known fact is that the three notes that signal the opening and closing of the TTC doors are the first three notes of the Sesame Street Theme - "sun-ny day" - please now refer to my blog about my obsession with googling...)

With each homage to Sesame Street, the expected jostling and repositioning of bodies ensued - everyone respectful of other people's space...until I felt a hand on my ass followed by a body sandwiched against my back. Out of shock, I quickly turned my head to see who the offender was. I had to look down. My first thought, due to the time of year, was that I had fallen victim to a disgruntled elf on leave from the North Pole. As it turns out, it was just a very short man.

Me, being the understanding commuter that I am, gave the disgruntled elf the benefit of the doubt thinking he just didn't possess the body mass to keep himself stationary as the train lurched into motion and, with no accessible pole to hang onto, he reached out for the fist thing in his path - my posterior. When the pressing continued, happening even when the train was smoothly in motion, however, I had to reconsider my initial belief. Then, when I felt his hand moving repeatedly up and down my back (under the guise of him adjusting his coat's zipper I am sure) I knew I had a mini-perv on my hands. I was about to go all beijing subway on his ass (and in my world that means politely step to the side, pretending the sordid incident in question never happened) but luckily I didn't have to. At the next stop with the jostling of people getting on and off the train a giant of a man, very reminiscent of Lurch from the Addams Family actually - the complete antithesis of miniperv aka disgruntled elf - wedged himself between myself and my offender, thus shielding me from any further groping. Exiting the train, I thought to myself that many people would have at least had to buy drinks and dinner before trying a move like that on someone... I was enraged.

Funnily enough as it turns out, I did get my drink in the end... Coming home from work today on the subway a man who had clearly drank the entire "whiskey section" in the LCBO and then bathed in 120 proof rum for good measure got on my car two stops before I exited.  He was standing two feet away from me. I instantly thought I was back in first year University.  I also believe I was 'second hand drunk' almost instantly merely from the fumes seeping from his body. It turned out to be exactly like first year! A bar room - excuse me, subway car - brawl almost broke out! Said man - we will call him Drunky McDrunkerson for the sake of this blog - staggered and body checked the man standing next to him... the man (who could definitely handle himself) was polite about it, yet must have muttered something under his breath because McDrunkerson then proceeded to shout out (droplets of spittle spraying my glasses) "don't expletive with me man, let me tell you, I will expletive you expletively up! Absa-expletively-lutely!" (with a few expletives thrown in for good measure)... He staggered off at the next stop, leaving us all to recover from our hangovers.

So, today my Sesame Street inspired "Sunny day" on the subway consisted of me getting felt up, given alcohol against my will and being involved in a fight. It was almost like a date.... only the dinner was missing. So, Toronto Transit Commission, yes, you plied me with alcohol, but if you are going to take advantage of me in future, the least you could do is buy me dinner first. It would be the classy thing to do.

Do I smell a food fight coming on during my commute tomorrow????

God I love the TTC!  Truly.  If anything, it is always entertaining. And, in their defense, their slogan does clearly state "ride the rocket"....if that's not innuendo.... I am starting to think it may not be 'the better way,' however. Gross.

It is time to google 'addiction'....

Today was my Aunt Tanya’s Birthday. Yes, I called. Yes, I sang. Yes, I went with her to Ikea for her $1 birthday breakfast. Let me tell you, I am one generous nephew. Gotta love those thrifty Swedes.

 

   

As we were sitting at breakfast on wonderful Swedish furniture, the names of which I could not pronounce (what the heck is an ektorp or farfelnoodle?), the birthday conversation between Aunt Tanya, my friend Erin and myself naturally lead to a discussion of Tina Turner and whale anatomy.




Now for all of you Tina fans out there that want to go all Ike on my ass, I say simmer down. We in no way compared the incomparable Miss Turner to a whale, they just happened to be in the same stream of consciousness at breakfast… hey, what can I say? We hadn’t had our coffee yet.

Anywho, Aunt Tanya said that Miss Turner was about her age… I said NO WAY, while Erin was pondering whether or not Whales had bones or simply cartilage like sharks. I had an answer for both of them… Google it!

I heart google. I have to say that I am addicted to google. I have no idea what I would do without google. I am the type of guy that has to know things, just for the sake of knowing them. If someone poses a mildly interesting question that nobody can answer I can’t wait to go home and google it. I even go as far as to carry a notebook around with me at all times which is called “blog this, google that”. I am a man replete with useless trivia, and, as such, have become a hit at parties (thanks google!..but it could also be because I can bend my big toes all the way back… a man needs party tricks too).



With google, everything you could possibly need is at your fingertips. Need to know the Leader of Uzbekistan? Google it. Need to know how to spell Uzbekistan? Google it. Need a picture of said leader in Uzbekistan? Google it. They even have a wicked tab - google images - when you are only looking for photos or pictures... I use it all the time for this blog.

I googled both questions that arose at breakfast upon returning home.
As it turns out, Aunt Tanya, of course, was right. Not only is Ms. Turner the same age as my aunt, but they have the exact same birthday! Today! (For fear of my life, I will not say what that age is… but suffice it to say, both ladies look SPECTACULAR for their age). So happy birthday Aunt Tanya and Ms. Turner. I hope your big wheels keep on turnin’ for a long, long time.

Now, according to Dr. Galapagos, thanks to google, I now know that whales DO in fact have bones. I mean, I thought they did, but now I am 100% sure. Hmph. Interesting.

People wonder what they did before cell phones; I wonder what I did before google. I mean, how else would I have instantly found out that Ketchup originated in China, that flammable and inflammable mean EXACTLY the same thing (serious! Google it people!), that the F bomb comes from the police dept and ‘File Under Carnal Knowledge’, that Erinaceous means ‘like a hedgehog’ (sorry Erin…), that Nudiustertian is the day before yesterday, that IKEA was founded in 1943 - The name is made up from the initials of the founder, Ingvar Kamprad and the first letters of the farm Elmtaryd and the village Agunnaryd in rural southern Sweden where he grew up. Ingvar Kamprad was just 17 when he registered the IKEA name. And yes, google even proved to me that Janet and Michael Jackson are, in fact, two entirely different people.


So when you are unsure, don’t just sluff it off and forget… find the answer you are looking for…. GOOGLE IT!

My own semi-permanent laminated list...

In her post dated Wednesday, November 5th, my wickedly funny, ruthlessly honest friend, Miss Leigh Naturkach discussed her semi-permanent laminated list of fake boyfriends (a link to her blog is posted on the right of this page).  Now, my post today actually has nothing to do with said topic, but on a recent outing on the subway, her post kept popping into my head.  

As I was riding on the subway last week, I looked around, people watching (my favourite activity) and then my eyes saw it.  I couldn't believe it and spent the next 6 stops transfixed on this hideous monstrosity.  It was what I like to call 'the train wreck effect' - you know you should be repulsed and avert your eyes, yet somehow you just can't bring yourself to look away... a compulsion to stare overwhelms your entire being.  A man, let's call him Rico, Rico Suave, for the sake of this blog, was wearing one of the most atrociously obvious toupees I have ever seen!  As I got to thinking, I realized that I had seen several bad toupees over the course of the last week. A plague had surreptitiously taken over our fair city under my very nose.  You know the toupees I am talking about, the ones that don't match the person's natural hair colour, or those that are obviously on backwards...

I sat there, slack-jawed and dumbfounded. How did this man not know that toupees weren't cool.  Especially bad ones. Did he not get the memo?  Bald is in.  Think of it as hardwood - nobody is doing carpet anymore!  If you want to hold onto your youth, try investing in some funky running shoes, or drinking diet pepsi - the ads say it works.  This is where Leigh's blog kept popping into my head.  I am officially sending out my own semi-permanent laminated list of things that are not acceptable practices in the year 2008.   Semi-permanent because I reserve the right to add to/change the list as I see fit.  Bad toupees are number one on my list.  Here are the rest of the offenders....

2. Mustaches - Now, I have nothing against facial hair in the least - quite frankly, I am jealous of anyone that can grow a beard as all I can muster is a bad 14 year-old's goatee - but on the whole, I have to say, mustaches alone on the face are just creepy.  Face it.  If you are sporting a mustache and no other facial hair you are 1 of 2 things.  1.  You are a 70's porn actor or 2. you are lurking in someone's bushes somewhere (if you get my drift).  Creepy. Don't do it.

3. Socks with Sandals... WTF people?  How, and for the love of god, why, are people still committing this offense?  I am going to let the pictures speak for themselves.... 

Ok - so one word comes to mind.... boobs - all of them.

4. The Mullet.  I know it tried to resurface a couple of years back under the name 'the brazilian' or something equally as ridiculous. Still not cool.  Business in the front, party in the back is never a good look.....NEVER. 

This picture brings me to my next NEVER GOOD.... 5. The Speedo.  As far as I am concerned speedos should only be handed out on the deck of an Olympic swimming event, and are to be collected IMMEDIATELY following said event.

6. The comb-over and 7. his cousin, the bald-long....  As for the comb over... come on guys... you ain't foolin' nobody....as a side note: Have you seen yourselves in a wind storm? 

The bald-long is just as bad.  Just because you are thinning on top, does not mean that you have to prove to people that you can, in fact, grow hair.  You are no less of a man without hair.  I do give you props mr. bald-long however, for not going the way of your backwoods cousin and attempting the comb-over.  Points for that.  But, with the bald-long, quite frankly, one would fully expect you to be crouching beside mustache wearing man in the bushes....hate to break it to you... 

Now, perhaps it is just me that has a morbid fascination with all of these things, but I feel I speak for a majority of people when I send out this semi-permanent laminated list to my fellow men out there.  Please read the memo.  We are just trying to help a brother out. 

Looking back at my list I realize that it is very 'hair-centric'.  Perhaps this is because, yes, I too am thinning on top and will one day no doubt be sporting 'the monk look' as I call it (hair all round, bald in the middle).  I vow to go bald with pride and class.  The key to balding gracefully is keeping the hair short and clean cut.  It is much sexier really.... and if I do have a hard time coming to terms with my hair loss, I will just tell people that I am not losing my hair, I am simply, over the course of years, slowly converting to Judaism.

Yup... I said it... shame on me....

I couldn’t believe the words as they spewed forth from my mouth. I was shocked, and yes, appalled…yet there was nothing I could do to stop them. Looking back, I don’t even know how or when I learned such perverse, nonsensical drivel. My indoctrination was slow and complete in its nature. Each newly acquired word leading to the next.. gateway words really. I was so taken aback with what I said to the poor young man behind the counter that I bowed my head in shame, apologized and repeated it just so he could make sense of such an abomination and hopefully remove the distressed look on his face: “I would like a Double-Tall-half-sweet-non-fat-vanilla-latte-extra-hot.” Good Lord, it is painful just to write it all out and relive the madness. When did I become so crazy and demanding? Whatever happened to ordering a regular cup-a-joe? I don’t know what I was more ashamed of; the fact that I ordered a drink that sounded like something from my OAC chem exam, or the fact that I could justify every single word in that drink and why I was ordering the way I was.




For those of you lucky enough not to have a clue as to what language I am speaking, let me fill you in. This is what I have deemed ‘Starbucks-speak’ or ‘Starbuckese’. It, for me, has truly become one of the oddest cultural milieus in North America, soon to be the world. Starbucks is not only its own brand and empire, it is its own world and there are definite unique modes of comportment, etiquette, and even language associated with it.

Let me break it down now – a coffee re-mix if you will. What I actually ordered is the following: A vanilla latte with an extra shot of espresso made with non-fat milk and half of the vanilla flavouring made extra hot. Yes, I have a specific reasoning and methodology for why I do what I do, but I will get to that later. First, I feel it necessary to tell you how all this happened, seeing as my first Starbucks experience in the big city 5 years ago ended with a lecture and me ranting to a store manager that I vowed never to order from their establishment again (luckily due to semantics, I was able to never order from that particular store again, but could still order from the chain with a clear conscience).

You see here is how it all first went down… Picture it: June five years ago. It is hot and me and my girly arms are moving into my first apartment in the big city of Toronto. I am excited, half manic and half delirious from the heat and the move. I decide that I want something cold, but definitely need caffeine to keep me going. On the corner where I was living there was my tried and true Tim Horton’s facing a Starbucks. I would normally go to Tim’s, no doubt in my mind, but I was not wanting an ice cap. I wanted something different…so I decided to head into the Starbucks.

I looked at the large menu of cold-drink options and was perplexed. I thought I would wing this one. How hard could it be? I walked confidently up to the counter and asked for “a cold coffee drink….ummmm....medium…not ice cubes… something in the blender…not chocolate… I like coffee flavour… I want it cold…and something that tastes good”… remember, delirious from moving…
The man taking my order said, would you like whipped cream on that?
I said “no thank you….ummm actually, ok…. Ummm no. No. I don’t want whipped cream after all thanks”. The guy at the register rang in my order and took my money… He was fine. It was the coffee-maker-guy (or “BARISTA” as I would later be told) that I could see getting a little edgy with my order. I waited patiently enjoying the much appreciated air conditioning, when my drink was finished.
“This one is YOURS” said “THE BARISTA”
“Ok, thanks!” I said. To which he replied folding his hand prayer-like, putting them up to his mouth in complete exasperation and leaning “the weight of the world” aka his elbows on the counter…
“Sir… (big sigh, long, pregnant pause), in future, It would be beneficial to everyone involved (another pause, as if this ‘everyone’ intimated that I had offended the entire world), if you learned how to order a tall-no-whip-frappuchino.
“Are you kidding me????” I lost it and ended up with coupons for many free coffees, vowing never to use them…

But alas, I was to weak to withstand the mega-corp soul sucking establishment. Heck if they could have a store in the “Forbidden City” in Beijing China (I barfed a little in my mouth when I saw that), how was little ol’ me going to resist?

In my defense, I started drinking Starbucks out of pure necessity. It was when I was working at the bookshop – satan’s layer – and I was in teacher’s college, teaching and working 5 days a week…. I needed caffeine to stay awake and Starbucks was right in our store. I learned how to order a tall latte. Then, after being called boring, I learned how to order a tall-vanilla-latte. Then, when that was way too sweet, I learned how to order a tall-half-sweet-vanilla-latte. Then, when my optometrist told me I had obese eyes, (cholesterol deposits), I learned how to order a tall-half-sweet-vanilla-non-fat-latte. Then, when it dropped to sub-zero temperatures outside, I learned how to order a tall-half-sweet-vanilla-non-fat-latte-extra-hot… It embarrasses and pains me to say it, but the extra hot keeps it warm longer when I walk outside in the cold…. The indoctrination was complete and irreversible.  Gateway words...
I am sure that Starbuckese will appear in the OED’s next addition… heck if ‘muggle’ and ‘bootylicious’ are considered words by Oxford, what’s stopping ‘no-whip’, or ‘skinny-latte”?

It has permeated our culture and is a symbol of our times. In my defense, I do go to Tim Horton’s 9 times out of 10 and only go to Starbucks if I want a fancy, frothy, treat and I am nowhere near my fave coffee place in Toronto – Mercury Coffee on Queen East at Logan…mmmmmm – and a local business to boot!

I guess there is no real point to this blog entry. Perhaps I just needed to admit my guilt. Yes, I, at times, enjoy indulging with a Starbucks Latte and have learned to speak their language. Where once I would want to punch someone in the face and call them snob if I head them order a complicated drink at Starbucks, now I just want to punch myself in the face.

All I am saying is that coffee judgment is rampant and classist… whether you are carrying a cup from Tim’s, Starbucks, Mercury, Timothy’s or Second Cup, like it or not, you are being judged on a cultural and socio-economic level. Quick fact: do you know if you cut out your once a day Grande Latte from starbucks at work, (so five a week for 52 weeks) you would save over $1,300 in a year. It is the Starbucks Factor. Coffee is big business, and I would argue, one of driving forces that shape our cultural makeup… is that even possible? I can hardly believe what I am saying… but I think I may be right…

A Painter's Guide to Life...

Presently, I am in the process of painting out all of the wood in my bathroom. I have chosen the colour white. Why, ruin all the beautiful wood in my bathroom, you may ask?… well, you see, there were no less than 6, yes 6, different colours of wood in my bathroom alone. I have lived in my apartment for over a year and a half now, and my obsessive-compulsive love of all things uniform and symmetrical (except children, that’s just creepy), has finally trumped my astounding laziness and love of ‘the nap’. I couldn’t take it anymore.

A bathroom, in my humble opinion should be pristine and bright. This firm-held belief all goes back to my least favourite word… “moist” – bad things grow in moist places (no matter where that place may be) – think about it people. Plus, my medicine cabinet, lovingly crafted by hand (not by me) is big enough to house all of Tom Cruise’s crazy pills along with Mike Ditka’s hair products (I mean, I know he is in the business of American Football, but does he have to look like he is wearing a helmet at all times?). Anyway, basically I am saying the thing is GARGANTUAN, the goal was to make it a little less imposing…

As I was sitting on the floor of my bathroom, covered in paint, getting very creative with my combination of expletives, all of a sudden it occurred to me: Everything you need to learn about life you can learn from painting. Here are some of the better paint-fume induced pearls of wisdom I came up with:

Sometimes it is better to take advice

I have painted a hundred times before. I have always refused to use primer, viewing it as unnecessary and time consuming. Crap, just slap up the paint and be done with it. This time, however, seeing as I am waiting for my new job to start and I have time, I thought I would do things right. I was a good boy. I went down to the Paint Depot at Queen and Logan. I love them! They were so helpful. They told me what primer and paint I would need and actually took three products out of my hands and replaced them with cheaper items that would do the same thing! (Shameless plug). The paint lady told me that although it seemed a hassle, priming the wood would make things much easier in the long run… she was right!



Sometimes it is best to be man enough to take advice and admit you don’t always know everything and that your way may not necessarily be the best way. It is better in the long run to take advice when needed…. Unless it is advice from the paint department of the home depot on Wilson – they will tell you that you should paint your room “steel grey” and that it will be an awesome colour… what they fail to tell you is that “steel grey” should actually be named “purple paradise”.

This leads me into my second lesson…

The right tools make everything easier

Brandishing my Primer, paint and necessary equipment, I attacked my bathroom. Sure it was a hassle and all, but good lord that primer and extra wide painter’s tape really worked. It is, in fact, always better to prime before truly beginning. It will be faster and save you money in the end… just like priming before you go out to a bar. It makes the whole night easier and you will save money… there are so many parallels people.




Sometimes If you just walk away, you will realize it is not as bad as you thought

After I primed the wood and waited the advised 1 day to paint, I then applied the first coat – it went on beautifully and was not sucked needlessly into the wood… but it looked a little patchy as some parts dried and others were still wet.

In life, like in painting, even when things look bad after taking a first go at something, sometimes if you just walk away and leave the proverbial ‘paint to dry’, when you come back you will often see that everything worked out and it wasn’t as bad is it seemed.

In my case it still looked like crap. It needed two more coats. But I would not have known that if I did not walk away right… Isn’t another lesson try and try again? Whadda ya want? It’s not always gonna go your way.

You always need a kick-ass soundtrack

Painting aint fun. For those of you who think it is, feel free to come check out my medicine cabinet. Music however, always helps. Never hinders. My choice selection was all up beat a la The Rolling Stones and a little Sympathy for the Devil, some Prodigy, and then the Motown classics of course – heck ya, I was a pip on the midnight train with Gladys!
Point is, it kept me going. Kept my feet tapping and as I lost myself in the music I forgot how much I despised painting. Trust me, sometimes life aint fun. But if you always have a kick-ass soundtrack (and perhaps your friends singing backup), you always find a way to keep on dancin’. Hmm that would be a killer CD – the hardest one to make of course – the soundtrack to my life… What would yours be?

It all depends on Perspective

So I decided that I would not paint the underside of the MANY shelves that make up my medicine cabinet (if you can call something suitable for Shopper’s Drugmart a medicine cabinet). Let’s face it, I am short, so if I couldn’t see that they weren’t painted then nobody else would (unless I threw a cast party for ‘Little people, big world”). Also, my girly arms were tired, I had at least two more coats to do and anything to make this process shorter was welcome! I was so pleased with myself. That was a load off…Then I sat on the crapper. How things changed.  

Sitting on the crapper I realized that the underside of ALL of the shelves were visible and seeing as I am generally full of shit, this is a vantage point I would have often. I immediately painted the underside of all of the shelves.
It’s like life – it is all a matter of perspective. You will shock yourself if you take the time to approach something from a different angle. Always look at questions, situations, problems and obstacles from several angles before you settle on a course of action – you never know, Frodo and Sam may be paying you a visit some day.

You have to be flexible

I swear you have to be part circus freak to be a great painter. As I found myself contorted into ungodly positions - balancing precariously on sinks, toilets, shower curtains, lying on my back on the floor, craning my torso attempting to channel Gumby - all to make sure every bit of wood was covered, I realized, good lord – you need to be one flexible mo fo.



Same goes for life kids. If you want to get things done, sometimes you just have to be flexible.

It’s hard work, but hopefully it’s worth it in the end

Ok. I have already said it, but I will say it again. I f’n hate painting. It’s boring, a pain, and at times, it down right hurts. But I must admit, as I collapsed and sat down on my toilet once it was done, the second coat, I was proud of how it was turning out. I have one sexy bathroom in the making – complete with a gargantuan WHITE medicine cabinet,… it has made all the difference. Life’s tough, but if you put in the work and take pride in what you do, it may just be worth it in the end.  Sometimes all you need is a coat of paint and a little willpower and suddenly everything looks fresh and new.

Perhaps the biggest lesson that I really learned from all of this was that you can learn a lot while sitting on the crapper..... or, I'm just full of shit.  Take your pick.

move on, young man - there is nothing to tell here...

Ok.  I am not one to be considered the strong silent type... I generally fail miserably on both accounts - my mouth oftentimes getting me into more trouble than Dick Cheney at a hunting convention, and my girly arms...well, they speak for themselves.  Yet, since being home in Toronto, Canada (over a month and a half already!), I, John Di Tecco, for the first time in my life, have found myself at a loss for words.

I was poking around on the net this evening as I have been suffering from insomnia (it is now almost 3am actually) - and I noticed that my friend Ethan had recently posted a blog entry on his blog.  Neither Ethan, David or myself have written much since returning to our native lands, so I had to check it out.  As it turns out, one of his local staff had posted a Beijing retrospective on Youtube that summarized Ethan's Games time experience - that has not happened to, or for me - and to be honest and admit to my own guilt - I have not even corresponded with Amy, Queen or Crystal (my team) since being home.  I just can't bring myself to do it for some reason.  Just as I have been unable to blog.  Am I just trying to hold on to what is past?  Not admit to it being truly over? I am not so sure.

I am not going to apologize for not blogging - the walking cliche in me since returning from Tibet says "living for yourself is not the same as being selfish" - (something that is easily said, but up to this point, I now realize, very hard for me to do and something I am consciously working on). I will say, however, that the amount of genuine interest, if not 'firm' encouragement regarding my blog that many of you have expressed (repeatedly!) to me over the last month has been both surprising and amazing to me.  I am happy to hear that many of you enjoyed my ramblings, rantings and musings...I had not written in ages before Beijing and I had forgotten how much I enjoyed it, so thanks for coming along for the ride.

Anycrap, I digress - surprise, surprise! Back to me not blogging.  Trust me, on countless nights I have logged into my blog with the full intention of summarizing my trip, filling in any blanks in my travels or simply relating something random that popped into my head about my experience. No lie - with this crazy bout of insomnia that I am going through- I had time.  If I could hunt down obscure techno remixes of the Scooby Doo theme on limewire, could confirm that Ketchup did, in fact, originate in China as I have told so many people, as well as google what stars shared my same birthday (sadly, the most exciting being Matty and Kara - The twins of John and Kate plus 8 fame), and once again, attempted to get past the first 10 pages of Marquez's 100 Years of Solitude for the 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9th time...I had time to blog. For some reason, however, every time I tried to will my fingers to pound something out on my keyboard, I was unable to do so.  And I still can't really.

Here is why:  I have no idea how to piece together what I went through in a coherent, easy-to-follow framework - also, if I am being completely honest - another thing I am working on - some things I just don't want to share. My experience finally travelling again, the way I love to travel, and reconnecting with myself are just that, my experiences.  Experiences that I hold dear and close to me - there really is no way to explain it all away.  

I definitely love answering questions that people ask, or providing an anecdote when the occasion arises, but when a friend of mine sits me down and says: "Tell me about your trip" it is the kiss of death.  All I find myself replying is "it was amazing!"  I have thought long and hard about this as I had not been this perplexed since I was 6 and was attempting to figure out the Caramilk secret...

My time in Asia was just that, amazing - but it is done.  It is a chapter closed.  Since being home I spent my first month, partying and reconnecting with old friends - in a haze really - pretending I was 20 again and living on a beach in Cancun during perpetual spring break... but that is another story - one who's gaps and holes may never be recovered.... 

I then went to Vancouver for a long weekend and met up with friends from China - Julia, Trevor and Leslie - David (who I travelled Asia with) even came up from Chicago.  I have to admit that I was a little reticent to go at first.  I wondered if it would be like removing a scab that just healed over and pouring salt and lemon juice in it.  These were amazing people that I had an intense experience with, one that not many others would understand.  Would going back and meeting up with them outside the original context ruin everything?  Would I discover that they were all boobs?  I went anyway and I was really glad I did.  We made new memories and forged even stronger friendships - (it also helped that the weather was a balmy 20 degrees and sunny where it had plummeted below zero in Toronto!).

The last two weeks have been me organizing and purging tons of excess stuff out of my apartment.  I have accepted a full time job starting Dec 1 - (for the love of Dolly Parton it is 9 to 5!)... and the funny thing is... I have not once freaked out about it... my wandering feet want to stay put for a while.  Don't get me wrong, travelling is in my blood and I will always go off exploring...just not any time soon. Things with me are good and I may be truly happy - sure I will undoubtedly be bitching come December 7th after my first week of full time work!  

So alas, faithful reader - I fear tales of Asian adventures have come to an end... I just don't have any more in me to tell... at least not now... For fear of sounding all Jo Jo's psychic alliance on you - a new phase has begun for me and there is no looking back and getting stuck in the past.  Johnny D will trudge willingly into his uncertain future (and the first thing he will confront is his penchant for talking in the third person).  

One thing I have truly rediscovered is my love of writing and words in general.  I am a nerd people! So, I have decided to continue blogging - and I was going to start fresh - a whole new blog - but I have decided that I want my blog to just be random events and insights from my day to day life.  And since I have been home, I have discovered that we North Americans have some pretty wacked out practices ourselves!  Have I not told you about the comings and goings of the Starbucks Cartel?  Oh there is so much to talk about my friends...  We can't point the finger at other cultures such as Asia if we are not willing to turn the microscope on ourselves... so that is what I am going to do... get out my lab coat and dissect humanity... Hence, Cultural Exceptions is still a fitting title and will stay.  So check it out if you feel like it... same bat channel...stay tuned!

In the meantime, while I revamp and get material for my new Cultural Exceptions Canadian edition - if you need entertainment - turn your attention to my friend Leigh's blog... she has made me laugh and wet my pants with her musings all throughout my insomnia... so enjoy.  A link to her blog is on my blog list - or, for those of you who are rediculously and wonderfully technophobic (Aunt Tanya and Rose) - I will put the link right here... just click on it.... www.leighnats.blogspot.com

For those of you who feel slighted or ripped off because you did not get a tale of travel... tough bundados as we used to say... but I will leave you with a few pretty pics of my trip that you have not seen yet... make up your own story - hopefully you will be inspired to start a blog of your own...

   

Golden Buddhas at the top of Emai Shan Mountain

Emai Sahn Mountain... AKA WHERE MONKEYS ATTACK!!! (they are not nice people! and my new arch nemeses...you may think it beneath me to target an entirely different species, but they are now on my same level of loathing as birds!  Birds poop....

MONKEYS PEE!  Look closely, they don't get the saying "cheeky monkey" for nothing! This one tried using me for target practice but I was out of range just in time!  Evil Bastards!

We hiked this mountain for 2 days and slept in a monastery - It was grueling! That's me!  Like the CN Tower climb times 10 million - no joke 8 hours a day for 2 days... all stairs!

At a park in Leshan, China -  Couples in love and just married come there and inscribe their names on a padlock and throw away the key to symbolize their unbreakable bond... there were thousands of them... even the cynic in me found it slightly romantic.... slightly.

It's China - you wanted to see pandas

Buddhist statue in Bangkok, Thailand

Palace adornments - Bangkok, Thailand

The Palace - Bangkok, Thailand

The view of the beach and Gulf of Thailand from my beach front bungalow - time to put my feet up... Koh Samed, Thailand

This was actually taken by me, of me, at the top of our hike up the great wall - but the sweat, confusion on my face and sheer joy of accomplishment somehow reflect how I feel about this blog of my travels being done!  I accomplished what I set out to do... now onto something else...

Canada, Here I come!

Hi all,

Ok, enough of the hate mail... I know I have not posted in a long time (well only 5 days really), but did you not read about the secluded beaches of Ko Samet? Blogging was obviously too much pressure for my 'john learning to relax' crash course....and it got in the way of my volleyball and napping marathons, and my sunburning time.

Well my friends, the time has come. Tomorrow morning I head to the Beijing International airport to HEAD HOME! Two months and two days sure can fly. Ko Samet was wonderful and we did not want to leave. We made great new friends, swam in the ocean morning and night, I got eaten alive by every multi-legged creature on the island, and perhaps had a beverage or two.

Then it was back to Beijing yesterday (saturday). It was actually very surreal coming back to the city exactly two months after we first arrived. I am not going to go into it on this blog, as I am planning to do a few debrief, decompression blogs upon my return to Canada, once I have had time to step back and really get a grasp on what actually happened on this wild ride over the last two months. I have to say that it is nice to end our trip here in a way, as it is familiar and David, Ethan and I have been able to visit some of our old haunts. Also, it doesn't hurt that by sheer serendipity my mother happens to be working in Beijing at the moment and, as a result, I have spent my last two nights at the St. Regis, Beijing (finally a COMFORTABLE BED IN CHINA!)... and my room comes complete with my own butler... I have not had the nerve to make him do anything, but from what I understand, butlers buttle.

My last moments in Beijing have been quite chill, as I am preparing myself for my reentry into 'reality' and the reverse culture shock that is sure to ensue. I will have to refrain from pushing and shoving my way onto the subway, slurping and shoveling all of my food, and voiding my nasal cavity and throat of all phlegm whenever I see fit. When I arrived in Beijing we were picked up by our own car and brought to the St Regis - nice. Then I met mom for a drink (or a bottle really) and we chatted and caught up. We had only seen each other one day in the last five months (as I was in Costa Rica, vancouver and Vegas right before Beijing). It was actually really nice and she did not remind me to eat one fruit or vegetable (she learned her lesson from the 'amsterdam incident') - she may even be realizing that yes, most of the time, I can in fact take care of myself. We were later joined by Ethan (who is bunking in at the 'Reeg' as David is staying with friends in Beijing and that way, Ethan can save a buck or two... but he is on his own tomorrow when I leave - sorry dude).

I have to say it was odd to have my two worlds collide. Mom represented both family and work (as she is working the Mary Kay incentive trip that I have done the last five times), and Ethan represented my olympic life (jet set) as well as my old backpacking life... they got on just fine which was a relief... I think mom was relieved as well to find out that I did not travel with complete and total boobs. Following drinks, it was out for one last night on the town. Today, I met all my old Mary Kay friends for breakfast, helped mom prep a few things for their day, then David, Ethan and I went off to the 798 art district which is an area of beijing that is all free art galleries in multiple warehouses.. very neat and low key. Then we met up with Jared (our other traveller from Ko Samet) for one last dinner together... which brings us up to present time.

So it is here my faithful reader that I will say, not goodbye, but see you tomorrow! I board my flight to San Fran at noon and then connect through to Toronto. My Canadian cell will be up and running as of 8:00pm Monday night Toronto time. I can't believe it! Alas, I have no idea what will become of my blog. I expect that I will do a few more posts (mainly about tibet as I was not allowed to write what I really wanted to - and my final thoughts) but I suspect that I will become very hum-drum shortly upon my return. Perhaps I will keep it up, perhaps not (it is my new laissez faire attitude I suppose). All I really want to say is that it has been fun having someone (real or virtual) to 'talk to' about my experiences here and I really appreciate everyone's comments, questions and mostly support during rougher spots. This incessant rambling of mine really helped me, and I thank you all for taking even a passing interest.

Here I will also give a shout out to David, Ethan, Jared, Mirjam and Fran - the core members of the David Daldwin Tours Team... I could not have survived with such a smile, constant laughter, and a song in my heart while learning so much about the world around me, Sarah Palin, and most of all myself, if it were not for my travelling mates. Here is to you all until David Dalwin Tours reconvenes in the future - perhaps Africa? South America? Laos? Cambodia? Vietnam? New Zealand? Wherever it may be, it would be a pleasure and honour to travel with all of you again.

Zai Dien (ciao from China)
See you in Canada Eh!

Ko Samet...I think that is Thai for John has finally chilled out....

Just wanted to do another quick update. We thoroughly enjoyed our stay in Bangkok and are now on the tranquil shores of Ko Samet in the Gulf of Thailand. We are in a beach front bungalo, and we went upscale... paying 13$ a night. It is brilliant and I may actually be relaxed for the first time in my life... but seeing as I have never truly been relaxed in my life being the charming stressball I am, I am not sure what 'relaxed' feels like... but I am working on it.

Bangkok, like I said, was great. We did not see as many sights as we wanted, but saw the major ones. Reason being, we were there over the weekend which meant late nights out and about soaking up the local flavour... aka an adult beverage or two. It was a perfect balance to all the heavy touring and hiking we had been doing. Time to release.

We left bangkok and took a three hour bus ride (for 5.50), to Ban Phe, where we caught a ferry to Ko Samet. The water is perfect, it is rainy season, so it rains on and off throughout the day, but there is more than enough nice weather. Yesterday when we arrived, we dumped our stuff, walked out our front door and dove right into the ocean (of course I was so excited that I ran in with all my $ in my pockets). We swam for a couple of hours and then walked down the beach and played a pick-up game of v-ball, ate dinner by the ocean and then enjoyed the chilled out nightlife.

Woke up this morning to the sound of rain falling on our bungalow roof, and just layed in bed and read for a bit... so nice. No alarms, no touring... the big decision being whether or not to go for a swim or take a nap... both alluring, both with their advantages.

You are forced to relax here and it is exactly what we all needed before we fly home and are assaulted by jet lag and reverse culture shock. We are here (doing pretty much nothing) until Friday morning, then it is back to Bangkok for the night to catch our flight out in the morning. I am in Beijing for 2 nights and then home!...in 6 days...it is hard to believe really.

Sorry for the lack of pics, but I can't use my computer here and so I will update my blogs when I return home and am unemployed for a bit...ahhh a vacation from my vacation...

What the elephant....

So here I am in Thailand typing on a thai keyboard... I can´t find punctuation... things like question marks and it is killing the English major in me- so I apologize now for any reading inconvenience.
The three of us have now made it to Thailand, the land of smiles... we really were not prepared for this leg of the trip- no book, not much research, not knowing if we needed entry visas and no hotel until I used expidia online to book one night at Boonsiri Place - in old town - at midnight the night prior to departure seeing as we were arriving in Thailand so late (about 11 30pm). It has all worked out brilliantly, though. We landed and to our relief found out that Canadians and Americans do not need visas unless staying more than 30 days, everyone spoke English, there were WESTERN TOILETS everywhere... with paper towel in the bathrooms! and it truly was the land of smiles... the Thai are almost too helpful if that is possible.
Before we exited the airport I bought myself the Lonley Planet Thailand and immediately felt more comfortable. We then got in a taxi and came to the hotel. Now, we were saying in the cab that we could honestly be in any major city in the world... Bangkok was modern, sprawling with high rises and busy... We said that until we saw a man riding an Elephant on the shoulder of the express way! If only I had my camera out and it wasnt the dead of night! We arrived at the hotel and they had my reservation! It is in a convienient part of town and clean... and the beds much softer than china! All was well... it was 130am in Bangkok, which felt like 230 to us as thailand is an hour behind where we had just come from. We passed out.

This morning we had a slow start... understandibly. We had a good hearty breakfast (included in the rate... awesome!) we did some email- 30 bhat for 30 minutes... which converts to less than one dollar a minute! But no pics for the blog unfortunately, as they are all on my computer... We then headed out to expolore our neighbourhood.

We are in the heart of old town, and the grand palace, the river, many markets, vendours and ko shan road (a backpaker haven full of bars, restaurants etc) are all within easy walking distance... and walk we did. We were all kind of out of it from our travel day the day before, so we meandered aimlessly, got driven around town in a tuk tuk for a bit and ate dinner on the street - the best way... just sampling the different street fare... when food is 10 bhat or about 33 cents... the world is your oyster... and you could eat those too if you wanted. I opted for a lot of fresh pineapple, some amazing pad thai, some spicy eel concoction with rice which was extremely tasty but had a lot of bones... odd. I had other stuff too, but cant remember now.

Following our day of meandering and orienting ourself in the city, we headed back to the hotel for a nap.... you see, David´s friend Jarred is joinging our group today and is on almost the same flight as we were yesterday... so when he arrives at 1230 - the plan is to head out to the bar street and get our drink on, dance a little perhaps and celebrate a new country and new experience...

We are in Bangkok until the weekend is over and then are heading to Ko Samet - an island with swimming and beaches! The prices drop dramatically during the week, so we are on the island from monday to friday and then return for one night to Bangkok to catch our flight to Beijing the next morning. It is going so fast. Only 9 days and I will see the fall leaves of Toronto... I am excited for that.

I am also excited that I am an uncle for the 2nd time! Congrats to Aimee and Ben on Oliva... can´t wait to meet her! You said you would wait until I got home though! Oh well. Thanks to everyone that has been leaving comments and emailing. I love news from home and now I need it more than ever. I was thinking the other day that with Costa Rica, Vancouver, Vegas and now my Asian Adventure I have been gone for Five months (almost continuously)... I miss all of you, but will be home soon! Will keep you posted as much as possible in the coming days.

Update

Heading to Thailand today. Can't believe the time is going so fast. Just 8 days in Thailand then back to Beijing where it all began to catch a plane home. Not feeling up to writing an in depth post so just a quick update. Things have been good. Still happy, having fun. Climbed a mountain for 2 days - it was tough but good. We climbed, monkeys tried to pee on us, stole our stuff, we slept in a monastery, made it to the summit and I even squatted for the first time at a buddhist monastery (sometimes these things just have to be done) - I will say 2 things about the experience: 1. I now feel like a real traveller since experiencing that 2. It is actually a very good position for voiding bowels. My only piece of advice? ALWAYS bring toilet paper or 'wet ones' with you...ALWAYS. After we conquered mount emei, it was off to Leshan to see the world's largest Buddha. It was neat. Then back to Chengdu for the night to crash at Kate's and off to the airport today. I will do a more detailed post about all my adventures later (I am hoping to have a lot of blogging time on the beach!). I have posted a couple of new albums on facebook, so feel free to check them out. Until we leave for the airport in a couple of hours, it is rest up for a LONG travel day to Thailand. I hope everyone reading this is well. Miss you all.

Panda-monium in 'The Du'

Sunday, September 7, 2008 – 11:30pm – Chengdu, China – Sichuan Province

I realize that it has been a few days since my last post. We have all taken some much needed r&r after our intense experience in Tibet. When we left Tibet on the 5th, we flew to Chengdu (pronounced Chun-doo), affectionately known as “the Du”. It was a relatively uneventful flight, except for the child across the aisle from me that decided to channel the exorcist and projectile vomit all over the his seat, the seat in front of him, his mother and her suitcase. Poor kid. But it was remarkable how much came from this small child who could not be more than 2.
All in all, Chengdu is nothing really to write home about. It is a city, with little personality. Well, that is not all together true. The people of Chengdu have a reputation in the rest of China as being lazy, relaxed and slower paced. This is because of their “Tea House Culture”. It is the equivalent of coffee houses and cafes back home.
Regardless of the fact that Chengdu may not be all that interesting, we have all had an amazing time here – mostly due to our new friend Kate. I met Kate in Beijing as she is a friend of one of my colleagues and was up visiting one weekend. We had a beer together for just over an hour, she said if our travels took us to the ‘Du’ to give her a shout. I did, and it worked out awesomely. Kate booked a hotel for us which was just beside the apartment that she shares with her roommate Sara, a local Chengdu-ite. It was nice knowing exactly where we were going once we arrived. The hotel is fine – simple, clean, and most importantly, cheap.
On our first day, David was not feeling too well, so after taking a quick nap (as we had to get up early in Tibet and travel all day), Ethan and I went out for a walk to check out the area. We are staying in a very ‘neighbourhoody’ section of town and so that was very refreshing. We went into a local restaurant, had a couple of beers and discussed what we might do for the remainder of our trip. We thought that we would go to Guilin and Yongshuo, but after investigation we found it to be too expensive (mainly to get to Thailand afterwards).
By the time we finished our beers, Kate called and we decided to meet up for an early dinner (she had a conference call at 9pm and we were all starving). We went to hot pot – it was great. It is where you have a big pot divided in two one side with chicken broth and the other with a spicy Sichuan broth. You then order a bunch of meats, vegetables etc and throw it all in, let it cook and then enjoy.
Once we had gorged on another inexpensive dinner, Kate went home for her call and we went back to the hotel for a nap as we had decided to go out that night. We met up with Kate at a bar right beside our hotel called “Carol’s”. It was a weird pub-type dance club. We sat, chatted, had a few ‘pops’ and then danced our pants off. Kate’s friends called and they were out at a different club, so at 1:30 we left David at the hotel as he was still fighting a little with Montezuma, and headed out. Our evening was great. We met a lot of new, interesting people and Ethan, Kate and our new friend Drew even ended up doing Karaoke in an empty bar run by a guy who looked like a 14 year old Chinese Harry Potter. It was a trip. Then off to McDonalds at 4am to combat the impending hangover. A great night.
The following day, we went to see the Panda Base on the outskirts of Chengdu. It was amazing. I did not think that I would like it so much, but the bears are pretty cool, and it is a breeding and research facility, so there were many young panda babies in incubators. Quite cool.
The park itself was quite the contrast from industrial, slightly dilapidated Chengdu. It was serene, quiet, full of lush vegetation, flowers and even a ‘swan lake’ replete with butterflies. It was great to get away from the big city and just wander amongst the bamboo-lined pathways. Perhaps I was just tired from the night before, but I did not feel much like talking that day, so I went off and explored for a bit on my own while David and Ethan did their own thing. It was just what the doctor ordered.
We got home, had a quick nap (I was loving the lazy, napping culture of Chengdu), and then went over to Kate’s place for a ‘dumpling party’. It was amazing. Kate’s roommate loves to cook and wanted to make of feast for friends that included homemade dumplings, chicken feet, a pork noodle dish and some rabbit. It was delicious (and the first home-cooked meal that I had had in five months). Yummy.
I think the best part of the entire evening was just that it felt like being home. Going to a friend’s place to eat, drink and just hang out. It made me feel normal. That is why Chengdu will have a place in my heart for a long time. Hanging out with Kate and her ex-pat friends has been so relaxing and just what I needed. Following the feast it was off to Moon/KTV for some Karaoke. I had not done real Karaoke in China. It is much different here.
Firstly, driving up, it looks as if you are visiting a swanky hotel. You go to reception to register and everything. Then you go to the ‘grocery store’ where you get a shopping cart and pick out you beverages, snacks and even a full rabbit on the Barbie if you want. You then go up the escalators and are led to your private Karaoke room. There, you have a wait staff that waits on you hand and foot while you sing to your hearts content. We had a blast (and quite a lot to drink). It was very surreal and an experience I am glad that I had. To top it off, it was only 500 yuan for 7 of us – meaning that it was just over $10 for each of us – and we had alcohol to spare when we left. Insane.
This morning I woke a little tired again, as we did not get home until after 3:30 and then, because I was hopped up on red bull and vodka, Ethan and I chatted about nothing and everything that had happened to us until almost 5am. Why do I keep doing this to myself? Once ready to face the day, it was back to Kate’s to do some laundry.
In a bizarre way, I love doing laundry in other countries (like the time in torino when my laundry took 48 hours because I could not read the Italian directions and somehow managed to lock my clothes in the washer)… Here was another experience. The washer had no lid, you had to fill it with water yourself and then drain it too. There are also no dryers and so I had to ring everything out and hang it outside on a line. An experience for sure. After laundry was done, Kate and I headed to Shamrocks, an Irish pub down the street that has an awesome brunch. Now everyone reading this knows my how much I love brunch (it verges on fetish really). I was in heaven, just sitting talking with a friend, enjoying brunch and not really having any plans for the day. I really felt like I was back home in Toronto. It was great.
David and Ethan eventually joined and had brunch themselves. While I was slaving over laundry, they had figured out the rest of our trip – we are now planned until I leave for home on the 22nd – a good feeling really. Because Guilin and Yongshuo were not the most economical of options, we have decided to leave our crap at Kate’s and head to Emei Shan – a monkey infested mountain that we are going to climb, staying in monasteries along the way. It is supposedly breathtaking. It will be a three day excursion, and on the way back we are planning to visit Leshan to see the biggest Buddha in the world. We are getting a good balance between cities and partying and communing with nature. We are all pretty stoked about our trip – we have to take a bus (so boats are the only mode of transport that we have not done yet)…
Following brunch, we headed to “the people’s park” and wandered around. The culture was much akin to the temple of heaven – there were tons of people taking dancing lessons, flying kites, singing in choirs and playing badminton. We got in on the action too – we bought a fisher price type of raquet game and played in the square – getting stared at because we were 1. Foreigners and 2. We were crap.
Then it was off to see a huge statue of Mao and then some shopping. We went out to dinner and headed back as we have to leave pretty early tomorrow morning.
So tomorrow we head off to hike for three days. We return to Chengdu to crash at Kate’s on Wednesday night and then catch a flight to Guangzhou to catch a connecting flight to Bangkok, Thailand. We are staying in Bankok for a couple of days, then it is off to Ko Samet (an island) to relax on the beach for five days to end our trip. I then fly back to Beijing on the 20th, meet up with dear old mom who happens to be working in Beijing then, and fly home on the 22nd.
We will not be taking our laptops on our 3 day trek, so it is here that I will say adieu and I will check back in as soon as I can. It is strange to think that I will be home in two weeks tomorrow. Where does the time go?

PS - pics to come on this post....